"You are raising your children in a different world than the one you grew up in": 30+ Reality checks for new parents strapping into the lifelong roller coaster of parenthood

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Feb 21, 2025 6:00 PM EST

Welcome, parents of the World Wide Web. When you first embark on the journey of parenthood, you may look to various sources for guidance. Nowadays, you can find all sorts of help on the internet with words of wisdom to aid you as you navigate the world of parenting. There are plenty of moms on Instagram that document their daily lives; some vignettes are more curated than others, but plenty do capture the trials and tribulations that come with being a parent. Parenting books have been around for ages, and if you don't have time as a new parent to sit down and read, there are thousands of podcasts that touch on the subject. 

Still, when you have a head full of ideas of how to raise your kid, it can be easy to cloud your eyes to the reality before your very eyes. Even if you hide your veggies in the pasta sauce, your kid might not eat it. Even if you play them Rock-a-Bye Baby renditions of Nirvana songs, your kid might grow up to have a normie music taste because they are ultimately their own person. Below are a collection of pertinent reality-checks for new and old parents alike. 

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  • 01
    What is a harsh reality new parents need to hear?
    via eclipse_images

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Sgt_major_dodgy You can tell your child to say please and thank you a billion times and they still might not do it. But say your neighbour is a head for parking outside your house like that and your child will remember the word head for months.
    via u/Sgt_major_dodgy
  • 03
    IWould ThrowHands you'd think Sorry is a swear word with how difficult it is to get a kid to say it to their sibling. My son cried for an hour because we asked him to tell his older brother sorry for screaming at him. Kid would say "I'm too busy crying to say sorry".
    via u/IWouldThrowHands
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10470896128
    via gerenme

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    kremata Kids learn by imitation, they will become what you are, not what you try to push on them. If you want to change them, you need to change yourself.
    via u/kremata
  • 06
    Dutchillz This should be pinned at the top. I swear most parents never understood this and continue to not being able to acknowledge it, even after the results are out. Definitely the harshest reality out here.
    via u/Dutchillz
  • 07
    No-Swimming When me and my girlfriend hugs. Our 2yo stops what hes doing and just smiles, or he gets up to be part of the hug! Makes me feel so much guilty for every argue we had in front of him.
    via u/No-Swimming
  • 08
    JJGBM "Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them." - James Baldwin
    via u/JJGBM
  • 09
    Head_Hacker 'If there is anything that we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves!' - Carl Jung. As a parent, harsh, but accurate.
    via u/Head_Hacker
  • 10
    ThislsPughy Didn't expect to see a Jung quote here, another is 'The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of the parents." - Carl Jung What parents want for their child is normally what they wanted for themselves.
    via u/ThislsPughy
  • 11
    UpDown Twisted Around You have to accept that your child may not be perfect. Mentally, physically or emotionally. That's the risk you take when you choose to have children.
    via u/UpDown _TwistedAround
  • 12
    Chubuwee Also (and everyone can apply this to your relationships) catch your kids being good and celebrate any little victories If you only catch them being bad then you're just going to be a source of indifferent approval.
    via u/Chubuwee
  • 13
    Cheezburger Image 10470895872
    via Aflo Images

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 14
    Don't do sh.. like · • you got an 80% on your test, but why didn't you get a 90 or 100 don't you know the stuff? stop this, stop that, don't do this, don't do that (tell them exactly what to do instead)
    via u/Chubuwee
  • 15
    • • how come you behaved good today but not yesterday? talking sh about your kids to others and especially them being present when the other parent shows up just complain about all the bad stuff they did
    via u/Chubuwee
  • 16
    Aggravating-Low-3031 They won't di from being told no.
    via u/Aggravating-Low-303
  • 17
    NOTR3SPONDING On the other side of the coin, you won't di from saying yes for once
    via u/NOTR3SPONDING
  • 18
    TheWelsh MrsM 'Two worst things as can happen to a child is never to have his own way - or always to have it.' The Secret Garden
    via u/TheWelshMrsM

  • Sometimes kids need to have their way to realise it's not so dandy. I used to babysit a little girl that wasn't taking the transition to winter with much grace. One day, instead of fighting with her over putting her coat on, I let her go to the park without it. Don't worry – I was always with her and her coat on hand, but she came asking for it pretty quickly after feeling the frigid fall air. 

  • 19
    cap1206 We have to say "no" so much as parents that we need to relearn how to say "yes"
    via u/cap1206
  • 20
    nocomment413 This is real for me. My son asks for a lot of things that I have to say no to, like having candy for breakfast or wanting to use a knife. He asks for things like this often so I feel I'm constantly saying no, so when there's times he's asking for
    via u/nocomment413
  • 21
    something where it maybe isn't the most appropriate but I don't want him to always hear me say no so I'll say yes. It's okay to indulge every now and then. Yes, you can have some chocolate ice cream for lunch. Yes, you can dip your Doritos in your milk. It's gross, but what's the harm
    via u/nocomment413
  • 22
    durtpie You will normalize unhealthy relationship dynamics if you don't fix them in your life. How they form attachments is built before they leave elementary school. You can not hide contempt. You can not hide
    via u/durtpie
  • 23
    apathy. you have to care about what you normalize for them. They see everything you do and the behavior you condone. Unhealthy does not always mean aggressive, chaotic.
    via u/durtpie
  • 24
    Valahar81 Great answer. I'm trying to work on myself right now for exactly this reason, because my wife and I want to have kids soon. It feels really hard though. Like there's all these things creeping around in my mind that I didn't know/didn't want to think about before and now I have to fix them but I don't really know how.
    via u/Valahar81
  • 25
    Aggressive Cup8452 Kids are not an extension of you. At some point you need to let it go and let them be who they want to be without your expectations or judgement.
    via u/Aggressive _Cup8452
  • 26
    SoupEvening123 This is something my mum will never understand... She never let me be in my teens nor even now when I'm over 30...
    via u/SoupEvening123
  • 27
    Koozer This is why getting away from home and creating distance can be extremely valuable at times. I left my home town to live in a city i didn't know, like a 3 hour flight away at the age of 19. I have zero regrets, i love my parents but you don't grow by living within your parents constant rule.
    via u/Koozer
  • 28
    RedHunting Hat In the same vein as letting go, parents you need to make time for yourselves. Go out on date nights, go to an event that interests you. It helps no one if you make your kid your entire identity.
    via u/RedHuntingHat
  • 29
    Diesel07012012 You are raising your children in a different world than the one you grew up in.
    via u/Diesel07012012
  • 30
    ReincarnatedSprinkle That's a really important one to bear in mind
    via u/ReincarnatedSprinkle
  • 31
    PrintersBane Time is the most important commodity now. Spend it wisely. Quality is better than quantity, so don't beat yourself up. Be present!
    via u/PrintersBane
  • 32
    getoffthegass You said your kids never going to do that. Welp....they're going to do it.
    via u/getoffthegass

  • I was also a very defiant child! Also, you might think you will never allow your kid to do such-and-such as a parent but then find out that it's totally worth your peace and quiet occasionally – yes, I'm talking about iPads.

  • 33
    NightShiftChaos92 I'm living proof of this. I took "No" as a challenge.
    via u/NightShiftChaos92
  • 34
    Professional-Mail857 Your child will not be a mini-you, and what works for you may not work for them
    via u/Professional-Mail857
  • 35
    て -2
    via courtneyk

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 36
    savguy6 To add to this, not only will they not be a mini-you, they are not a "mini-adult" in a tiny body. Especially at a young age, the parts of their brains that regulate logic and emotion are physically not developed yet.
    via u/savguy6
  • 37
    So when they have a literal meltdown and tantrum because they want to wear their Lightning McQueen tennis shoes, and you put on the red Lightning McQueen tennis shoes, but they wanted
    via u/savguy6
  • 38
    the green Lightning McQueen tennis shoes, even though there's no such thing as green Lightning McQueen tennis shoes...just understand that their brains are physically incapable of regulating their emotion around that.
    via u/savguy6
  • 39
    It took me a while before this clicked for me. They're not doing it to be a h_les (they do other things to be a h_les), they literally can't help it.
    via u/savguy6
  • 40
    shiningonthesea and a 30 minute explanation is not going to help either
    via u/shiningonthesea
  • 41
    StanlsNotTheMan Parents explaining reasoning to their toddler is soothing for the parent, not the child. I'm really bad at it.
    via u/StanlsNotTheMan
  • 42
    My kid is 2 and I'm explaining why he can't have the steak knife or draw on the cabinets or throw play-doh at the dog, meanwhile he just ran off to do something else while I was mid-sentence. I'm getting better at just saying "No, we don't do that," but my urge to dad-splain is strong.
    via u/StanlsNotTheMan
  • 43
    NeverTheDamsel Alternatively, your child MAY be a mini you (currently dealing with this) and it may be extremely unpleasant.
    via u/NeverTheDamse
  • 44
    the_purple_goat Don't live vicariously through your kids
    via u/the_purple_goat
  • 45
    inksmudgedhands I think it should be more, Don't be afraid to share what you like with your kids. But don't take it personal if they don't like all of it. They are their own person and not you.
    via u/inksmudgedhands
  • 46
    roco_72 It is your responsibility to raise your child. Not the schools or anyone else. Start teaching your child that no means no, respect and rewarding good behaviour and discipline them. They will be much better in the long run.
    via u/roco_72

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Babies married with children toddlers fatherhood motherhood reddit story parenting raising teens advice dad new parents new mom reddit thread Reddit raising kids mom
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